It is 1:56 AM. Saturday May 22, 2010. Can't sleep. Sometimes I think I just do not want to let go of a day. Still pretty exhausted, but I feel the Spring of new healing. I feel less crappy. The last couple months of the dynamite portion of the chemo was cumulative, causing me to feel progressively more tired and achey. The side effects have been worse this time than the chemo.

This past Fall, four years after my first stage 4 ovarian cancer diagnosis, with 3.5 years of a ca125 count of eleven, I had a bout of swine flu. A few weeks later, maybe a month, I felt a strange 'sickness' in my lower abdomen, similar to the way I felt when it first appeared. It continued to intensify and work its way up to my right upper quadrant. I went into my internist's office and said "It's back". My doc looked at me with that familiar smile..the 'she looks too good to be seriously sick' look. I said 'run the ca125 anyway'. It came back at 211! Within two months it was 1500.

I called my medical oncologist who was on vacation. Then I called my Super Surgeon, my man of HOPE. He always believes me. He said "Oh they don't knowhow good you look when you are sick".

I would not be alive today if I had not come across several doctors who listen. Like that medical school advice they all learned "If you listen long enough the patient will tell you exactly what is wrong". When I sense something wrong I pursue it until I get an answer.

It is 2:08AM, time for bed. Goodnight my blog friends...peaceful dreams